Welcome back!

The welcome back is meant for me, I love talking to myself and I'm returning too. Returning from the edge of the tip of the point of the stressknife. I won't bore you with all the non-ginger details, instead I will regale you with a list of random thoughts and things.

1. Detainees in Iraq have gotten wise regarding the Wisconsin Guard dudes in charge of them, and have started to tease them about Brett Favre. Basically, this is awesome and amazing in so many ways, and says a lot about an entire state when anyone from that state can be needled with the name of a Missouran quarterback with a killer arm.

2. Wanda Sykes scares me. Almost as much or more than Garry Shandling.

3. A friend suggested I should start a gingerwig line. I'm seriously considering this. And by serious I mean, seriously thinking of some great jokes about it.

4. I think that sometimes artists, mostly musicians and writers, hold onto the idea of lost love just so they can use it to create and then they find another person to love, break up with them, and repeat the cycle.

5. I want a baby otter. After watching the video I shall embed below, I had the following G-chat discussion with Mike.

me: it's like, a puppycat
Mike: With a big belly
and sharp teeth
me: i want it
Mike: OK I'll get you one.
But only if you name it Hermes.
Pronounce "Her-Meez"
me: oh DEFINITELY
Mike: Done.
What do they run? 40, 50 bucks?
do some research, get back to me.
me: oh yes i have time for otter research
Mike: Hey if you want a real otter, you take some time.
me: I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR OTTER BUYING TODAY
Mike: Hahha
OK fine.
Take your time. But Christmas isn't far off.
Hermes the otter is out there. Somewhere. Lonely. Crying. Cracking oysters on his little otter belly.

Hello my new little ginger darling

Remember how horribly twee ginger rapper Asher Roth let me down? And how I love Mayer Hawthorne but he isn't a ginger? Well! I have a new little music ginger crush, one half of Chester French, a young man by the name of Andrew "D.A." Wallach (and yes, I realize I am late to the game on this one). Those curls! That voice! Added bonus? He's from Milwaukee. Bestill my brat-lovin' heart, you adorable boy, you.



But wha! That's in black and white, MB! I could still tell because I am attuned, you see. Below's the ginger proof.



I rest my case.

This is what happens when Brett Favre beats the Packers at Lambeau

You have reduced me to tears, Brett Favre. I hope you're happy now please get out of football.

*Thanks to my fellow fan Jeff, who wrote a funnier and more comprehensive post, even if you did laugh at me for crying.

Wherein Liz has a Halloween conversation with herself

Liz: ok so

karaoke machine delivery at 12noon

kristen & liz hit up party city at 1pm

mike brings photo booth - 7pm

(he does't know that yet)

so

should be good

what time are you coming over?

kristen is getting waterboarded at my house
me: so much going on there

Dum dee dum dum da dum, dum dee dum dum daa dum, etc.

I'm trying to remember when I first realized that one day, I would be the same age as my day of birth. I do know that when I figured it out, I was super pissed that it wouldn't be until I was the ancient old age of 28 to get to my golden birthday. Now it's here, and it doesn't feel so much golden as just, olden. And also silly that I've been looking forward to 28 on the 28th for such a long time.

Anyway! How about some of MB's Greatest Birthday Hits?

1981: I don't remember the day I was born, obvs, but I do know that my brothers got to go to Chuck E. Cheese's while my mom was still in the hospital with me, so, they liked that one.

1988: Infamous swimming birthday party. I couldn't swim very well, so while everyone else was in the deep end of the JCC pool frolicking, I stayed in the kiddie pool and cried. I don't know what I was thinking, having a pool party if I couldn't swim.

1989: My mom made pumpkin cookies for me to bring to the class the next day, and left the last batch in the (turned off) oven overnight to cool. The next morning we realized mice had gotten into the oven and nibbled and pooped all over the cookies. Minor freakout ("But I HAVE to have enough for the whole CLAAAAASS!") until my mom went to the store to get replacement treats before school started. God, I was a brat.

1992: Parents turned the whole house into a haunted one. That was effing sweet.

1995: My dad surprised me by bringing home a cat. I wanted to name him something like, Flufferbutter McKittyPants or Michael Jordan, but instead my brother named him Finbar. He's still alive and still awesome.

1997: I didn't get my license on my 16th birthday for the sole reason that my brothers hadn't. Thanks, guys.

1999: I turned 18, my friends and I went and bought cigarettes and a nudie magazine just because I could.

2002: Ah, 21. There was a list of things I had to do? I think? Everyone wrote on my shirt, I did a keg stand with a condom on my head and took a nap on the ground at one point. College!

2003: The year my seven roommates and I all pooled money for Tiffany necklaces. I yelled out, "it's a BEAN!" when I got mine. Might've had a beverage or two by that point. Ahem.

2005: The year I surprised myself by coming home with two cats. Neither ended up being named Flufferbutter McKittypants/Michael Jordan.

2007: Lauren flew into NYC to surprise me, and then she and Liz and Abby and Margaret and Mike and all my friends threw me a karaoke/surprise birthday party, because I'd never had one, and it was the best ever.

So! I can't complain, and if I was someone else I'd say something cheesy here about how maybe all my birthdays have been golden, because I've spent them with friends and family and oh isn't the circle of life wonderful? This is also the first time in 10 years that I will be waking up on my birthday in the same apartment/house as I did the year before. It's nice.

Here's to golden birthdays, my darlingest dears. Thanks for being with me.

P.S. As I wrote this, I just had to add 2009: Jessica texts me at exactly midnight to wish me happy birthday right on the dot. That's love. Her golden birthday is this year too, we've been waiting for this for way too long.

Hmm... no access to affordable healthcare might have killed it off.

Wedding accomplished.

The Berkeley clan. Since I caught the bouquet, obviously this scene will be repeated at some point, but I won't be holding my breath.

A few more just for funsies.